1 in 5 Americans say their partner isn’t 'the one’

One in five Americans in a relationship say their current partner is not their soulmate, new research reveals.

That’s according to a survey of 1,279 people in a relationship which saw a surprisingly high number (20%) state they do not see their current partner as their truly destined other half.

Conducted by Talker Research as part of a lifestyle omnibus, results showed, on the positive side, that the majority (80%) of couples share real conviction that their current partner is the one for them.

Women are slightly more likely than men to feel their current partner isn’t their soulmate overall (14% women vs. 11% men).

While millennials are the generation most likely to put faith in the concept and feel their partner is their soulmate, compared to other age groups.

But while many feel their love is written in the stars, some are potentially still keeping an eye on those around them.

One in six (16%) of those in a relationship included in the survey said there is someone in their life they’d actually leave their current partner for if they showed romantic interest in them.

Adam Horvath, Clinical Psychologist at Personal Psychology gave insight as to how attraction to other people might cause people to reflect on their own relationship. “It is not uncommon to think we could leave our partner for the new, exciting, mysterious other one, but it matters how we respond to these feelings. If you often find yourself emotionally invested outside your relationship, that’s a signal to look at why your boundaries are dropping.

“We’re human. Attraction does not turn off when we say ‘I choose you.’ What matters is what we do with our feelings, and whether we’re honest with ourselves about why they’re there. Having a daydream about someone else isn’t rare or pathological, and it doesn’t automatically mean you are a bad partner, let alone that your relationship is doomed.

The results showed men are more likely to say there’s someone they’d leave their partner for if that person were to show interest in them (19% of men in relationships versus 12% of women saying the same).

Horvath continued: “Developing feelings for someone is quite normal, as our brains are wired to notice a romantic interest. It’s biology, not betrayal. Where it gets tricky is when we think these feelings are meaningful, and in fact, they are our way out. When we compare our real partner to a fantasy of someone else, and check out because ‘there’s something better.’ That’s less about the crush and more about something missing that the backup person represents: Playfulness, romance, excitement. Or sometimes simply just something new.”