Death, estate planning among most avoided family topics: survey

Almost three-quarters of Americans (65%) have already planned their own funerals, according to new research.

That’s according to a survey of 750 Americans, split evenly by those who are single, engaged and married.

From how (29%) and where (19%) they want to be buried, to what type of service they want (17%), what music should be played (14%) and even the overall “vibe” (10%), results revealed that only 35% of those polled haven’t given their funeral or death any forethought.

In fact, almost one in five (17%) think about their own death at least once per day.

But just because they’re thinking about it, doesn’t mean they’re talking about it. Death and estate planning ranked in the top most difficult or uncomfortable topics to discuss with their family (25%).

This falls second only to sex and relationships (33%) and is equally as difficult to address as past mistakes and regrets, and mental health (both at 25%).

Conducted by Talker Research on behalf of Trust & Will (https://trustandwill.com), results also revealed that avoiding these topics may result in some uncomfortable situations later down the road.

Only 17% of those surveyed, or 23% for married respondents specifically, have thought about who will inherit their possessions after they pass.

But this may be a two-way street. Nearly half of Americans polled (46%) either don’t plan to talk to their loved ones about which of their items they want to inherit themselves or don’t feel it’s their place to ask.

Regardless, they’re secretly eyeing some sentimental treasures. Aside from the classic jewelry, money and photos, one respondent is hoping for an “antique shoe shining table,” while another wants their dad’s shorts “that he cut up with a chainsaw.”

Others are hoping for items such as their “stepfather’s bear carved from a log” or their “mom’s classic car.”

Still, according to another survey of the same sample conducted by Talker Research, two-thirds of those polled (64%) have yet to create an estate plan. A little more than one-third (36%) plan to do so within the next five years, though 28% aren’t planning to make an estate plan period.

More specifically, 45% of married respondents don’t have an estate plan, compared to 65% of single respondents and an overwhelming 81% of engaged respondents.

The top reason these respondents don’t have an estate plan is due to the fact that they don’t believe they have enough assets to justify one (38%).

Two in five married respondents (39%) say that they aren’t sure where to start, while one in five single respondents worry about the cost.

On the flip side, of the 36% of Americans polled who have a will, trust or Advanced Healthcare Directive, a majority (52%) did so for peace of mind. Others were motivated to protect their assets (48%), protect their children (44%), and avoid probate (36%).

“The idea that you need to be rich to justify an estate plan is one of the most damaging myths out there. If you care about what happens to anything — your kid, your pet, your car, your crypto — you need a plan,” says Cody Barbo, Co-Founder & CEO, Trust & Will. “It’s not about how much you have. It’s about making sure the right people are protected when it matters most.”

The survey also uncovered some interesting differences in motivators for creating an estate plan. One in three married respondents (30%) cited that a serious illness or health care is the number one reason they’d opt to create or update their plan, followed by their spouse encouraging it (25%).

For engaged respondents, getting married (38%) or having kids (35%) were the top two motivators. And while almost one in five single respondents also cited having children (17%), they’re equally likely to say that a death in the family (17%) might prompt them to reconsider.

“Most people want to plan ahead. They just don’t know where to start. Only 17% of people in the survey said they feel very knowledgeable about what an estate plan even includes,” continues Barbo. “So it’s not a lack of love. It’s a lack of clarity. Our job is to meet people where they are, make the process feel human, and turn one of life’s hardest conversations into something empowering.”