Everyday tech rules that keep families sane

A new report has found nine in 10 parents argue with their kids over technology use — half said the topic comes up at least weekly.

The poll of 2,000 U.S. parents of kids aged 8 to 17 revealed a large majority of kids (87%) said they’ve gotten into arguments about technology use with their parents, though 61% said these arguments tend to only last for a few minutes at most.

Most arguments over digital devices are primarily triggered by having too much screen time (46%) and bedtime phone use (40%).

For many, it’s also egged on by gaming (28%), using devices during meals or family time (28%), watching or engaging with inappropriate content (25%) and social media use (25%).

Outside of school, 56% of parents believe their kid spends too much time online, and 46% believe technology has had a negative impact on their kids’ emotions.

If they were to put themselves in their parents’ shoes, half of kids surveyed said they’d also be concerned about what their online activities are. For 59% of kids, that includes seeing virtual videos within the past year that show extreme violence, serious injury or death.

Commissioned by Aura (https://www.aura.com/holiday) and conducted by Talker Research, the survey found that 86% of parents agree that kids are growing up faster than previous generations.

Despite this, 58% of parents claim they’re “very aware” of their kids’ online activities, and nearly all (97%) have already talked to their kids about online safety.

“Kids are being introduced to the digital world at an early age, and it can be a confusing time for parents as they navigate these challenges with their family,” said Dr. Scott Kollins, Chief Medical Officer at Aura. “When it comes to safe online habits, parents need to be proactive. Discussing online safety should begin as early as possible once kids start actively using technology, and the conversations should be casual, non-judgmental, and open. It’s important that kids know the door is always open to voice concerns about what’s happening online and in real life.”

Eighty-seven percent of parents today feel technologically savvy enough to talk to their kid about online risks and properly manage their kids’ digital footprint.

For the vast majority (95%), it begins with having rules about internet use in the home.

Rules parents swear by include: all digital purchases need to be approved by them (64%), time limits on devices (50%), no devices until after homework and chores (49%) and parents need to know all passwords (47%).

Other rules include no social media until a certain age (43%), no devices in family group settings (39%) and no Wi-Fi at certain times of day (19%).

And if those rules are broken, parents respond by taking away devices (66%), reducing screen time (42%) and checking in on them to see if they’re struggling with something (34%).

Most kids (71%) said they feel their parents are appropriate about online safety. Meanwhile, 25% believe their parents are too strict, and 4% claim their parents are too lax.

At least a third (38%) said the arguments they have with their parents leads to having their devices being taken away at least once per month, leaving them feeling either frustrated (56%) and annoyed (50%) as a result.

“Restricting devices is more of a band-aid than a foolproof solution when it comes to teaching kids healthy digital habits,” said Dr. Kollins. “Kids will find ways around the rules if they’re not being taught self-regulation and the importance of disconnecting from screens or managing their online behavior responsibly.

“As more stories pop up around the dangers of prolonged tech use and inappropriate online engagement, parents need to help kids understand what positive online behavior looks like. Learning when it’s time to put the phone down to reconnect with friends and family in person can go a long way, and these habits start at home.”

WHAT DO PARENT/KID ARGUMENTS LOOK LIKE AT HOME?

According to parents…

• Technology use (phones, games, social media) – 28%
• Chores or responsibilities – 25%
• Homework or grades – 21%
• Other topics – 13%
• Curfew or social plans – 12%

According to kids…

• Technology use (phones, games, social media) – 30%
• Chores or responsibilities – 24%
• Homework or grades – 22%
• Curfew or social plans – 12%
• Other topics – 12%