Half of Americans don’t know their parents’ end-of-life plans

Birds, bees and final wishes — a new study says “now’s the time” for the other Big Talk with Mom and Dad: the one about what will occur when the end of life happens.

A new poll of 2,000 U.S. adults found 90% believe having conversations about end-of-life planning is important and nearly six in 10 (59%) believe they’ll someday be responsible for making or helping to make end-of-life plans for someone close to them. 

However, half admitted they’ve never even broached the subject with their own parents, nor their own spouse or significant other.

The study, commissioned by Afterall (https://www.afterall.com) and conducted by Talker Research, revealed why so many are afraid to discuss the inevitable. Respondents admitted they just keep putting it off (26%), don’t know how to talk about it (23%) or were simply scared to have the conversation (16%).

The study also found that of those willing to talk about death, many are increasingly open to discussing end-of-life plans at earlier ages. 

Many respondents (41%) believed they should start planning for their own end-of-life before they’re 65 years old.  

Additionally, the average person starts planning for their parent’s end-of-life when they’re 50 and their parents are 70 years old. Yet, sixteen percent admitted they had no idea what age their parents should be to start having the conversation.

“We’ve long known that most people do not have an end-of-life plan in place and wait until a triggering event before they start to think about it.,” said Lee Senderov, chief marketing and digital officer at Afterall. “That can be a very stressful time to make these important decisions.  What’s exciting about this study is almost everyone believes the conversation is important and that they want to have it.”

Despite the hesitation many feel, the study found these conversations often remind people of what’s important during end-of-life planning. 

Those having the talk said they’re working out the logistics of final wishes (57%), what’s included in a will or trust (50%) and how to deal with finances (33%) with their loved ones.

However, respondents said it’s also important for them to also gather information like family histories and stories (46%), health information (46%) and family recipes (23%).

And 79% have considered how they would ideally want their remains dealt with after their death. Many said they’d like to be scattered in a favorite outdoor space (20%), interred in a cemetery or mausoleum (19%) or kept in an urn at home (13%).

“Having a conversation about end-of-life planning doesn’t have to be a one and done event and it doesn’t have to be scary,” continued Senderov. “It can be as simple as starting with a question like, ‘what music would you play at your funeral?’”

WHAT WOULD YOU PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Respondents were asked what one song they’d want played at their funeral or end-of-life celebration. Here’s what some said:

“Another One Bites the Dust,” by Queen

“You Are So Beautiful,” by Joe Cocker

“Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,” by Cyndi Lauper

“Star Wars,” by John Williams

“Freebird,” by Lynyrd Skynyrd

“My Way,” by Frank Sinatra

“Coconut,” by Harry Nilsson

“One More Light,” by Linkin Park

“Ave Maria,” by Andrea Bocelli

“Bad Moon Rising,” by Creedence Clearwater Revival

“Imagine” by John Lennon

“What A Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong

“Amazing Grace” by John Newton

“I’ll Fly Away” by Albert E. Brumley

“How Great Thou Art” by Carl Boberg