What does today’s ‘village’ to raise a child look like?

Today’s parents are reinventing what it means to rely on their “village” when it comes to raising a child, new research finds.

According to a survey of 2,000 parents of children ages 0-6, 78% agree that the definition of a village— or their community and support system— is different today than when they were growing up.

In fact, another 86% of parents say they have a different type of support system today than their own parents did. 

Growing up, respondents recall spending the most time with grandmothers (60%), grandfathers (41%), aunts (51%) and uncles (41%) as well as their parents’ best friend (38%).

In total, they can remember an average of eight different people being regularly involved in their lives as children, and a majority (86%) are still in some contact with their childhood village.

But today, parents rely on an average of seven different people, and fewer of them are relatives. 

Mothers (54%) and fathers (34%) still ranked at the top of the list, but today’s parents are more likely to lean on their friends (33%) or best friends (30%) than aunts or uncles (29%).

Still, 29% of parents find it difficult to make new friends today. Their inner circle most often includes the friends they made after having children (24%). Interestingly, parents are more likely to spend time with their childhood friends (15%) than they are with friends they made in adulthood before having children (14%), their teenage crew (9%) and even their college friends (6%).

In fact, 83% say their child making a new friend results in building a friendship with their parents at least some of the time. 

Conducted by Talker Research on behalf of The Goddard School, (https://www.goddardschool.com)the survey took a deep dive into the makeup of today’s villages and aimed to uncover what the modern-day version looks like. 

Four in five (81%) of all parents polled believe that it’s imperative to have a support system when it comes to raising their child, and another 43% believe parenting is more difficult today than it was for their own parents.

About a quarter of parents (27%) rely less on family members for support than their parents did for reasons such as not having a close relationship with their family (33%) or their family members having other responsibilities and being too busy to help (32%). A quarter (25%) made the conscious decision to do things differently than their parents and lean on their family less.   

On the flip side, 47% choose to lean on their family more. Many (41%) simply want a deep family connection, while others find it easier because both they and their partner work full time (31%) and it is more cost-effective (29%).

The good news is that parents are reaping the benefits of their villages. The vast majority (87%) believe their support system has improved the development of their child’s social and emotional skills. 

The added support also enables parents to spend more quality time with their child (36%), complete tasks such as cooking, cleaning or errands (33%) and be a better or more present parent (31%). 

“Raising children today is like steering a ship through a storm; it can be tumultuous and unnerving, and without a compass to guide your ship—or a strong support system to help you parent—it’s easy to lose your way,” said Dr. Lauren Loquasto, senior vice president and chief academic officer at The Goddard School. “I encourage all parents to take full advantage of their entire network, including their school and childcare provider, to help them navigate their parenting journey.”

Almost three-quarters (74%) of surveyed parents currently have their child enrolled in school or childcare provider.

Of those parents, 89% say that their child’s school or childcare provider plays a role in their village, and they rely on them for support or guidance an average of 12 times per month.

But even so, almost two-thirds (65%) of parents wish their child’s school or childcare provider offered more opportunities to connect with other parents.

Family gatherings and social events (45%), educational workshops for parents and their children (36%) and celebrations and cultural events (35%) topped the list of opportunities parents would enjoy.      

“Schools and childcare providers have not just an opportunity, but a responsibility, to offer their families support, guidance and resources to help both children and parents develop into the best versions of themselves,” said Loquasto. “We are committed to fostering a community where families feel supported and connected. Parenting is a journey, and while bumps and detours are inevitable, a strong village goes a long way to helping make the journey as smooth and rewarding as possible for the entire family.”