Why millennials value good sex over most things in relationships

Good sex matters more for millennials (86%) than having similar hobbies (72%) or taste in TV (60%), according to new research.

An exclusive survey conducted for Newsweek (https://www.newsweek.com) by Talker Research explored respondents’ sex lives and their satisfaction with intimacy.

The survey, conducted between Feb. 12 and Feb. 14, 2025, sampled 1,000 Americans and showed that of all the qualities asked about, more millennials selected that the quality of sex was “very important” than any other factor.

Qualities that weren’t as highly important among the group aged 29-44 include having similar lifestyles (39%) or political views (24%).

Emma Hewitt, a certified sex educator, provided insight on the generational shift in attitudes toward sexual satisfaction and communication in relationships.

“Millennials rating good sex higher than anything else is likely because they are done with having average or just OK sex,” Hewitt told Newsweek. “Millennials grew up with some pretty questionable messaging about sex, a lot of which focused on how to please and pleasure your partner but never how to ensure that you were also receiving the kind of pleasure that you need.”

Where has this emphasis on sex stemmed from? Hewitt pointed to the increased availability of sex education resources as a possible driver of the shift.

“With the rise of sex workshops, sex coaching and social media, we know that many millennials are focusing more on their own pleasure, consent and good communication about sex,” she said. “They know what they want sexually, and they are not going to settle for less.”

While important, Hewitt cautioned against relying on the idea of “good sex” as the only determinant of a healthy relationship.

“I do not think we should focus solely on good sex in a relationship, or depend on it for the positive effects to seep into the rest of the relationship, but I can understand why a lot of millennials are rating it so highly,” she said.

She elaborated on how effective communication also plays a large role in achieving sexual satisfaction.

“Good sex is often the result of great communication,” she said. “If you can talk openly and effectively about sex, you should be able to do the same about other elements of your relationship.”

Hewitt spoke on how the emphasis on good sex not only fosters the opportunity for better communication, but also signals a deeper investment in relationship quality.

“I also think that we should not underestimate the trickledown effects that good sex often has on a relationship,” she said. “A good, partnered sex life usually results in mutual respect, increased intimacy, more connection and more fun, play and pleasure in all aspects of the relationship.”